My Testimony

Today I was baptized at Parkway Pentecostal Curch by Pastor Carl Patterson. I am about to head to bed and officially starting to feel tired at 10pm but my heart has been soaring all day, as I celebrate Jesus. He is good and I am learning to celebrate that! Today’s celebration far exceeded what I had prayed for and I trust God is doing way more through this day than what I can even see. This morning when Luke woke up he said to me, “Mom now you have two birthdays, you are born again today.” Luke is right and I am grateful and maybe Aug 7 needs to be a new annual celebration for Jesus in our household. Here is my testimony. Please feel free to share your testimony in the comments or any reflections from these stories.

My Testimony

True change is possible with God.

Hebrews 11:1-3 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at Gods command so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 

God has done miracles in me. He has changed me. My life is changed, my legacy is now one in the bloodline of Christ. 

I first gave my life to the Lord when I was around 12 at Maple Grove church camp. I returned home from camp with a fire in my heart for God. I wanted to tell everyone about Him and His awesomeness and I did for a little while but my fire started to fizzle. In my teens and 20s I strayed from walking with God and building a relationship with Jesus and squandered my gifts, I did not know my worth in Christ and so I lived a less than life always feeling scarcity, anxiety and trying to fill voids with whatever would bring me temporary comfort like; attention, shopping, alcohol even coffee. 

When I look back on this season in my life I can see His presence, He never left me even when I ignored His call and He always kept me safe.

Jesus refines me through the fire, changes me through challenge. 

I re dedicated my life to the Lord 8 years ago as I prepared my unborn sons bedroom for his arrival. I was overwhelmed with anxiety about the unknown new season I was about to walk into and it became very clear to me that I could no longer do life alone, I needed Jesus. I started by reading one Bible verse a day. 

About a year later when I considered drinking alcohol again post partum, the Lord started to speak to me about my addiction to drinking. I heard God speak “If you are going to do what I designed you to do, you cant drink alcohol” I battled with this request from the Lord for awhile, I couldn't picture my life without alcohol as it had become such a huge piece of my social life and routines, I wondered what my life and relationships would look like without it. Through releasing my addiction to alcohol to the Lord, I gained a more intimate relationship with him. All the times I was lonely over the next few years, I knew that God was protecting me from environments I wasn't ready to be in yet. But I started praying for friends, I yearned for Christin community. 

In 2018 I got very sick, I found out I have an autoimmune disorder through an attack I had. I lost sensation in my legs, hands and torso. I was admitted to the hospital for care and testing for about three days but each day being away from my family felt like a week and when they sent me home I had a portable IV that I was prescribed medicine in, for the next two weeks. My spirit was so crushed in this season and everything was so unknown as to what my life would be like moving forward. Would these attacks be something I would deal with regularly? The first thing I googled about my initial diagnosis of Transverse Myelitis showed a picture of a woman in a wheel chair. This image haunted me and made my mind spiral wondering what my life would look like raising my children unable to do everything I was used to doing with them. The doctors visits and blood work continued and I prayed minute by minute the name of Jesus or sometimes just “I trust you” to fight the crippling fear that would try and consume my every thought.  What was discovered after more tests is that my diagnosis was wrong, I have Anti Mog and God was doing an incredible healing in me, my symptoms continued to lesson and as I have been followed by doctors, it is believed that I will not experience another attack again in my life. The Lord has given me a miracle in healing and appreciation for caring for my health in a God honouring way. This health valley also brought me closer to God and taught me how to walk with Him minute by minute for daily sustaining. This journey strengthened my faith and it helped me learn to focus solely on the face of Jesus in times of trouble. 

Most recently God has answered by prayer for community. After 7 years of praying for community, God used the pandemic and our choice to homeschool, to bring me into community with the people I had been praying for. I had asked for just a few friends but because He is so good, so abundant and delights in pouring out gifts on His children, He over delivered! I am now a part of Parkway and beyond this have started to form relationships with friends that are my family in Christ. I have learned that we should never stop praying and seeking God for the desires of our heart because He is always working and His timing is perfect. I should never stop meeting with Him and doing the daily good work He has called me to do because He is always preparing me for the next big battle or adventure. 

As my family and I learn what it means to truly be in a fellowship community of Christ followers, we are walking through another challenge. I am learning to release control to the Lord over every area of my life as well as learning who He says I am as a loved and worthy daughter. I am learning to live my life this way, standing on the truth that I am loved, worthy and deserving of everything God's children get as part of His bloodline, born again and made new, how amazing but difficult for me to learn. 

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. 

While my heart has belonged to the Lord since I was a child, I have not truly trusted Him with my life, I was still controlling everything. Today as I get baptised, I declare Jesus is my saviour, believing that He has saved me from myself and I accept His love and place in His kingdom as a daughter worthy because I am His and not by any of my works. 

I am getting back to that childlike faith that God stirred in me years ago. When I first picked Aug 7 for my baptism date, Pastor Carl informed me that it was a camp service and wondered if I would like to choose a different Sunday for my baptism with a more traditional service. I decided that a camp service would be a perfect service for my baptism because it was my own church camp experience as a child, that originally lead me to give my life to Jesus. I also remember that after my very first visit to Parkway and experiencing their worship, I messaged my sisters and let them know that the worship was just like what we had experienced when we attended Maple Grove Camp as kids. 

All my life I have been trying to earn Gods grace, today I confess that sin of trying to be God and accept that my Heavenly Father is God over every stronghold and idol in my life and that I want His will not my own. Jesus is king and He is the change maker and chain breaker.