San Antonio Made Me Cry

Hello from San Antonio Texas and BODi Summit 2023. It’s Friday of Summit as I write this, I am three days into this amazing trip and most of all, I feel exposed and extremely uncomfortable.

From the first night of my trip, I have been crying and so aware of all of my emotions and that is the gift of the daily work I have been doing, in this business over the last three years. As I stood in the airport and waited to check my bags, my heart bursting with gratitude and appreciation, I realized I was not ready for this moment until now and even in this moment I still wasn’t ready for it but I was in it and I was feeling everything.

Living present.

I shared with a friend a few months ago that I wanted to cry more. I know that sounds like a weird goal but I have learned that I hold a lot of emotions in and it was hurting me in so many ways. Man, have I been crying on this trip! I have been letting it all out, the fear, the doubt, the joy, it’s all coming out, it’s not my job to control it, its my job to be me and trust God.

As I sat in the opening session, surrounded by thousands of people passionate about living their best lives and helping others do the same, I was all in and I also doubted it. I was so curious about my doubt, “can this really work?” went through my head. As I walked back to the hotel room with some of my new friends, I shared my doubt and we flushed it out.

Here is what I discovered - For me, doubt is the cop out. If I claim that it doesn’t work, I don’t need to do the work.

As I sit in the sessions and hear from highly successful women share their stories I realize, I am just like them and if they can do it, I can do it. And then the tears come becuase its real, its tangible, its there right in front of me and the only thing separating her on the stage from me in the nose bleeds, is the work. ALL. THE. WORK.

I have wanted to attend BODi Summit for over 2 years and now I am here, that was a lot to process the first night. I ate dinner alone and told myself that I was worthy of this as I fought mental battles telling me I wasnt. Two years ago I attended an Emerald event at my up lines home in Ontario about 2 hours away from where I lived at the time. I knew I needed to be at that session but money was so incredibly tight at that time that even the extra gas money to drive two hours was stressful. I went and prayed to God I would have enough money to get there and back. I knew I needed their mentorship and to be in the room with like minded people. The event was incredible I learned a-lot. As I prepared to drive home I realized I didn’t have enough money to fill my tank with gas so I had to call my sister and ask to borrow some money for the drive home.

I was surviving.

Here I am a year later, debt free, on this trip learning I am worthy of investment. That feels overwhelming and that feeling is also what drives me to serve and share. This weekend will forever be a pivotal moment in my life, I am sure of that.

No one just gets to the mountain top moments, they climb there.

I needed and still need, to shift out of my old identity by loving myself and that is what my morning routine is. I have found tools, products and a community that is helping me grow into who I have always deep down known I was, I just didn’t know how to love her up. We don’t grow by running from the past version of ourselves, we grow by living from a place of loving how far she has brought us and understanding that for her to be the best version of herself, she needs daily curation.

I will not rise to the level of my goals.

I will fall to the level of my habits.

And I love my habits! My habits build my confidence, my habits bring me home to my purpose everyday so my days, although they may be mostly mundane are also joyful. I am choosing to believe that purpose and joy is actually rooted in the daily work and that is what I do as a BODi Partner, that is what this opportunity has done for me.

I am so aware of the work I need to do, grateful for the awareness and excited about the journey ahead.

Let’s grow,

Heather